Due to the most recent threads going back and forth on this list I
feel the need to remind you guys who we are. Even if you’re
considered a dating coach that still comes second to one thing. You
were and are a pick-up artist first. If you’re still a recovering
AFC that is fine as well because THAT is what this lair is about.
I’m sure Monkee didn’t make this list for people to banter back and
forth and rip into other peoples sticking points so I hope we can
get back on track here.

With that said I’m going to post a method that I use in field and
I’d like active sargers to take a moment and post some of there
ideas and comments on this as well.

The Venue:
The sarge begins right when you enter the venue. If the venue is a
club then you have to remember that everyone in the venue,
especially women are there for one reason in particular. To have
FUN. Clubs are a breeding ground for emotional stimulation to women
for many reasons. They can dress in a way that makes them feel sexy
and the club justifies this behavior. The music being played allows
them to dance which in turn makes them feel sexy and creates
hightened emotion. Think about your how your emotions react when
you’re listening to your favorite song. For me when I hear certain
songs I get a charge of sexual emotions and my state increases. Same
thing is happening to women when they’re at a dance club. They want
to exercise these emotions. Women are at a club to socialize with
there friends. As we all know, women from the time they’re able to
talk and mingle on the playground they’re practicing their social
skills and stimulating each other mentally with conversation.

For the PUA: We need to enter the venue with the same attitude. I’m
here with my friends to have a great time, have a cocktail if I
wish, and enjoy the music. My friends are cool and being with them
makes me feel good. Everyone else at the club is an added bonus
because they’re in my world. Lately I’ve been going out with a
friend that has just rcently moved here from Scotland and has a lot
of natural game but most importantly the two of us always have a
good time when we go out because we stimulate each other with great
conversation, we’re laughing non-stop, and we generally dont give a
fuck about whats going on around us. You want to have this kind of
relationship with your wing because it breeds success. Why? Because
when we’re having fun we begin to naturally show how comfortable we
are, our energy is high and addictive to the people around us, and
we’re laughing so much that its hard not to notice. Our having a
good time is attractive to women because GIRLS JUST WANT TO HAVE FUN.

Open the room: You’ve already entered the venue with high energy,
laughing with your wing, possibly grabbed yourself a drink and now
its time to open the room. With good body language start talking
with random people a little bit. If a couple that you know is
together is standing next to you, cheers them and tell them how cute
they look together. Do it with a big smile on your face. If you see
a group of guys standing around, ask them if they cought the end of
xyz game and who one. It doesn’t really matter what it is you talk
to these people about just as long as it holds value, you
demonstrate your alpha male traits etc. The reason you’re doing this
is whats key and thats to desplay that you’re a social guy out
having a good time. With opening the room you’re getting people
involved in your world and it prevents being the guy that only talks
to girls to pick them up. Women pay attention to this kind of shit.
You guys that are at venues with other PUAs have the advantage to
open them as well, say something like, “what’s up man, hey I’m
grabbing a drink for so and so, I’ll come back and chat with you in
a minute, It’s great to see you.” It’s a great way to work the room.
Rule: If the PUA is isolation, DONT APPROACH HIM TO DHV YOURSELF!
Many good sets have been fucked up that way so make a mental note to
yourself NOT to do this.

The Approach: There is a number of different tactics to approaching
women so its up to the PUA to determine which approach is better
suited according to the logistics of the set. Try and post up in an
area where a lot of HBs are posting up as well (it helps for
logistics) RULE- He who opens the set, owns the set. That is why I
like to be the one to open all my sets so I have my pick. Many times
I’ve opened sets and before I’ve chosen my target another PUA will
get greedy and work the set in his favor. Always ask the person who
opened the set who’s the target. There have been times I’ve opened
into large social circles that can become a shoe in for future LTR’s
and then I introduce a fellow PUA and he’s gone in before asking and
taken girls from my set. I’m not mad about this because I’ll always
open more sets, but be respectfull otherwise that fellow PUA wont
invite you into sets anymore and just because of one lay could cost
you ten. If You make a mistake, make it up to him. Open a set and
give him his pick. There will always be another set.

So, You’ve got an opener picked out and you’ve already dispayed
you’re a social guy by opening the room so it wont be a complete
shock that you’re going to talk to your set. They’re in good range
to display good body language because you’ve posted up in an area
that allows better logistics. I like situational openers that kind
of having an opinion opener touch to them. Here’s a demonstration of
one I’ve been using.
(Like I said, the wing I’ve been running with is Scotish and his
acsent is money)
Me: Do you consider an acsent attractive?
(If you’ve displayed value correctly around the venue, and you
entered the set with good body language and good energy, the set
will seem excited that you’re talking to them)
HB: Yeah!
Me: Have you met the coolest guy in the room yet?
(Credited Diesel)
HB: You?
Me: (laughing) No, come here and meet my friend.
I intro my wing.

I want her to chase me now:
Now that we’re in set, we’re building attraction with the group and
now I want to flip the tables on my target to start chasing me. I
bait her into saying something I could misinturpret what she said.
(This is really easy and she’ll pretty much do it naturally once
you’re in set for about 3-5 minutes.) I’ll bust on her by saying
something like “oh my god you’re so bad, stop it you’re going to
make me blush!” I want to play it like I’m cute and innocent. She’ll
be really reactive to me at this point and will probably start
blushing herself. I’m making her emotions escalate reaaly rapidly
with fun comments like this and she wants it to conitnue going so
she’ll be gaming you at this point. I try and find a way to throw in
that I’m not her type (which I’ve posted about in recent threads)
and she’ll continue to chase me to show that I am. Just keep in
mind, what you want to get is her chasing you. TD has many rutines
to do this as well so I suggest you read them and use them until you
develope your own tricks.

Isolation: Now that I have her chasing me she’ll be totally
receptive to isolation. I’ll usually be just about finished with my
drink at this point so all I have do is say “I’m going to go grab
another drink” walk a little past my target and put my arm out for
her to grab it. Her friends will be fine with it because they
understand she’s chasing me so she has her oppurtunity now to be
with me alone. Build rapport now with simple talk. Find things you
relate to, and let your body language do the talking in a sexual
manner with facial expressions and kino. When you return to the set,
the two of you are together now and everyone will realize this
perfectly clearly now because you should be arm in arm, giggling
together and enjoying each others company.

Bouncing locations our sticking in there to set up the Day2:
You have two choices. Bouncing the set our continueing building
rapport and getting the number. If you bounce the set you pretty
much suggest the idea to the group just like you would with your
friends you’ve known for a while, if they’re up for it’s time to go.
If not stick in there a little while, plan a day 2 with her and
she’ll suggest giving you her number, you wont have to ask for it. I
dont recommend going around and opening other sets. If you wanted
another set you should have opened them instead because once you’re
in the set this long it would be working backwards to eject it.

Conclusion: I work most of my sets this way and have had great
success with it. I’m sure I’ve left out many details so if you have
any questions/suggestio ns feel free to post them.

So, if you want to be attractive, and not simply entertaining, you must evolve your social skills as well as your sense of who you are to a point of complete congruence.

 

RULE:

Your identity can be high-value or low-value, or anything in between – and the value of your identity is something that you cultivate based on how entitled you think you are to have a dominant impact on your social environment, and how well you think you can handle both the good and bad reactions that go along with that.

Whether you realize it or not, there’s an idea in your mind about how much success you deserve out of life – or how much value you’re entitled to cultivate as the “guy” who you identify yourself as being. How much success you think that you’re entitled to have with women is a part of that self-concept as well.

Entitlement is a multi-layered concept, in the sense that feeling entitled to success with women is tied to feeling entitled to success in life. Many people note that the best part of studying to become good with women that is their drive for female companionship motivates them to become a better person. The confidence that they develop to get girls winds up extending into all other areas of their lives.

A guy who feels confident with women is the same guy who feels entitled to start conversations, to say what’s on his mind, to be the centre of attention, to socialize with other charismatic people, to dictate the vibe of interactions, to set the trends of what’s cool, and to express his personality freely.

His sense of being entitled doesn’t make him obnoxious or a conversation tyrant. Rather, it makes him confident that when he takes on a high-value identity people will enjoy it – like when a musician takes the stage and everyone likes it because he offers value.

 

RULE:

A high-value guy with a strong sense of who he is basically has free run with women (with people in general, actually). By most people’s standards, it’s almost absurd to see how quickly women respond to this kind of confidence.

When a woman meets a guy who feels completely confident to talk to her, joke around with her, tell stories, and generally lead the interaction, she responds well automatically. He’s in.

But if a guy isn’t comfortable doing these things, she usually blows him off. That’s why the way that women respond to you (how much value you have) starts from your identity.

So where does your identity come from?

It’s crucial to realize that your self-concept is always evolving through your interaction with the world – often in reaction to the social feedback that you get from other people.

Let’s say that you try to take on a more high-value role and you’re accepted for it. All of a sudden, your identity is reinforced as being of higher value.

But let’s say that you try to take on a more high-value role and you’re not accepted for it (maybe people make fun of you). Suddenly you realize that you shouldn’t try anymore, and your identity winds up holding you back in the future.

As human beings, we are hardwired to be social. And as social creatures, we are always engaged in the process of eliciting social feedback, which influences us to react by adapting our identity for better or worse.

 

DEFINITION: “SOCIAL FEEDBACK” OR “PINGING”

Our minds exist in a state of perpetual “pinging” with the people around us.

What that means, is that our minds are continually engaged in a sub-process of cross-referencing and validating our knowledge with the knowledge of others.

Through this subtle and constant process, our minds elicit “social feedback,” ranging from the most exceedingly subtle sub-communications to the most blatantly obvious responses – all of which are continually shaping and re-shaping our ideas about who we are and the world that we live in.

Whether you realize it or not, your interpretation of reality is very subjective, and massively influenced by the feedback that you get from your social environment.

That’s why for a person visiting a foreign land, there might be an experience of what is known as “culture shock,” where they feel a surreal disconnection from their environment. And likewise, for a person isolated too long from society, there might be lapses in sanity, where they can no longer relate themselves to the social norm.

We can conceptualize social feedback as a mirror through which the ways we act are cross-referenced and validated.

Because of social feedback, we have an idea of how to act “normal” – to recognize our status and how to act in a way that aligns with that.

Through our interaction with the world, we gain some concept of the behaviours that signify who people are, what roles they play, and their social value within a group.

On both a conscious and subconscious level, we have an idea of what a guy of high status and a guy of low status looks like.

We’ve all seen people of both high status and low status. Whether we’re conscious of it or not, our minds recognize the differences and responds emotionally.

So here is why social feedback is important.

 

RULE:

If in the ongoing process of “pinging” you get social feedback that tells you your status is increasing or diminishing, your mind will feel social pressure to react by assuming the identity that you understand to be most suitable to the situation at the time.

As social creatures, we are adaptive. If we’re in an environment where we have or lack status, we will feel it, and feel pressured to step into the behaviours that our minds recognize as being suitable to the role.

It’s for that reason that a girl from a small town where she’s popular will often take on a totally different persona when she’s in a larger town where she doesn’t know anybody and pretty girls are everywhere in sight. Her confidence will change, the types of jokes that she’ll laugh at will change, and the types of people who she’s willing to hang around with will change as well.

Now, before we go too far down this path, it has to be understood that all people react to social pressure differently. Some people react very obviously while others don’t react at all. It depends on a concept in their minds called their “entitlement criterion.”

 

DEFINITION: “ENTITLEMENT-CRITERION”

Your “entitlement-criterion” is the criterion that you think you need to meet in order to feel allowed to take on a high-value identity, and act in a way that women find attractive.

Depending on how your mind is wired, your entitlement-criterion will be made up of one or several of the following:

Superficial social standards: When you think that you’ve met the typically unrealistic standards of social conditioning (looking good, making money, having success, owning nice things, etc…)

Alliances: When you have guaranteed acceptance because of alliances (being friends with high-status people, having a hot girlfriend, having a lot of friend around, etc…)

Competencies: When you have anything that makes people want something from you (having access to something exclusive, having knowledge or expertise that people want to learn from, having entertaining jokes or stories or skills that engage people for a period of time, etc…)

Role-plays: When a temporary circumstance calls for you to assume a role that doesn’t reflect who you normally think you are (being the teacher in a teacher/student situation, being in a respected or professional role, being surrounded only by people of lesser status so filling the role of high-value by default, etc…)

Identity: When you have an internal belief of entitlement as being a part of who you are.

When your entitlement-criterion is met, your mind tells you “You are now allowed to take on all the subtle high-value behaviours that you’ve recognized in others.”

Your mind communicates this by the emotional state that it gives you. This phenomenon is often called “going into state.”

Being in state is a powerful experience. Often, the thing that literally addicts guys to improving with women is the state that they get out of it.

When you’re in state, the world is your oyster. Your mind quiets, and everything you do just works. Your humour hits, your stories rock, and people follow your lead. The guy who is the most in state usually has the strongest “magnet” of attention — so to speak.

There are different ways of thinking about why state has this impact, but a cogent explanation comes down to this: State is a reflection of identity, and your identity is a reflection of social value. Therefore, whoever is the most in-state must be the person with the highest social value.

Beyond that, as a part of human nature there is inherent value in people expressing their personality from a place of authenticity.

Your personality is a reflection of your life experiences. There is something to be learned from that. Your choices of humour or style, for example, are reflections of the way that you make sense of the world and the emotions that you want to evoke in it.

When you’re in state, you are expressing your personality without all the impurities of agenda. You are not trying to impress or persuade or conform. Your communication is more real, so to speak. People value that.

It’s often said that when you’re in state you are most connected to your authentic self. You aren’t reacting to how you think other people want you to be. You’re just expressing your personality and sharing your energy with people, and they can feel that you’re only offering value because you’re above needing a reaction from them.

For all of these reasons, being in state implies social value.